Monday, February 20, 2012


{WARNING: A lot of this post is about the miscarriage}

Learning that I was going to miscarry the week before my sister's wedding made me wonder if I should even try to make the trip. I really wanted to go and she had asked me to take her wedding pictures, so I just prayed everything would work out okay and I went anyway. I started bleeding lightly on Wednesday and I didn't worry too much about it. Thursday I flew to Atlanta with my sister, Adrienne, and her 4 kids and my dad. Hayden did SO good on the plane! Friday we went to the church to help set up for the reception. Not much happened, light cramps and light bleeding. Saturday I prayed and prayed that I could make it through the day and be okay.

We headed to the temple at 10 and got there at 11 so my mom could help Jessica. The rest of us waited the the annex behind the temple until 11:30. My brother and his friend watched all our kids while we went in for the sealing. After the sealing we grabbed everyone and the camera and tripod and when Jessica and Justin came out we did pictures. Then I did the bride and groom pictures. After that we went to PF Changs for lunch. We headed back to the church and finished last minute things and put out food, etc. The reception was so pretty and a lot of fun! My best friend from my senior year in Alabama was able to come too so that made it even more fun! She helped me a lot with Hayden and I'm so grateful! Everything went super well the entire day. Even the rain waited until we the reception started before coming :) It was such a perfect day! I'm so happy for my sister!! She looked beautiful and she found herself a good man! (sorry there aren't any pictures, I want to edit first)

After the reception was over we did clean up and that's when everything started going downhill. I felt stronger cramps and had to sit down a few times. Right before we left the church to head home I put one of Hayden's diapers in my underwear. (its about a 45 minute drive from the church to my mom's house.) The drive home was awful! I had cramps that were more like contractions when you're dilated to 5 cm (and maybe I was). I was leaned on the seat in front of me breathing through them. When we got home I got up and felt a huge gush come out so I raced to the bathroom. I jumped in the shower and stayed there until the hot water ran out. Then I turned it off and just sat on the tub floor for probably an hour and a half. After a while I decided the bleeding had calmed down enough to get out. I grabbed another diaper and went to bed.

I was able to get a good nights sleep and woke up feeling a lot better. I jumped back in the shower. After I was dressed I went downstairs. I felt a sharp pain in my side, but it felt more like bowel pains than uterus pains. After about 10 minutes it was getting worse. I went and sat down and I couldn't do anything but sit there bundled up in pain. The pain got so bad that I was in tears! I imagine it was equal to being 10 cm dilated (not that I've felt that before). I'm so glad I was staying with my mom. My step dad is a doctor so he came to my rescue. He had this thing called a TENS unit. Its got 4 sticky pads that you put in certain spots on your body and it sends little electrical pulses through you. So my step dad put them around my uterus area and I turned it on to where I was comfortable. He also got me a heat pad. The combination of the two of them took my pain completely away. After a few hours I turned the TENS unit off to see if my contractions were less painful. They started coming back so I turned it back on before they got worse. I used that with the heat until the evening. I turned the TENS unit off around 5 or 6 and just used the heat on medium and felt a lot better. I had my brother and my brother in law give me a blessing, which I think helped the most! I got my things packed that night and woke up with mild cramping Monday morning. My mom took me to my dad and sister's hotel at 7 am and we loaded up and headed to the airport. Adrienne's kids all ended up getting that nasty stomach bug that we all got a few weeks ago, so sadly she wasn't able to go to any of the wedding stuff on Saturday. Luckily she got some nausea pills because 2 of her girls woke up feeling nasty Monday morning. After the pills, the were fine and did great on the flight home. Hayden did great again too and even slept the last 2 hours of the flight and didn't wake up until we touched down and applied the brakes! I was glad because you run out of things to do in such a small space on an airplane. After we got off I went and found Paul and we met his parents for lunch at In N out. I was glad to see them. It is sooooo good to be home and to see Paul again. It was a fun weekend but we missed him SO much!

I think everything worked out perfectly considering the circumstances. The fact that Paul didn't come so I was with my mom and step dad when everything happened. The fact that everything happened AFTER the reception and AFTER I was done taking pictures. The fact that I wasn't on a plane when it did happen. I do wish that Paul had been with me, but since he wasn't able to be there, I'm glad I was with people who could take care of me, and take care of Hayden when I needed that help. I'm so grateful I had priesthood holders near me to give me a blessing when I was in need. I know the Lord was watching over me this weekend.

Now to get rid of this headache I've had ALL weekend that I just can't shake.


*Katie May* said...

I'm glad things worked out for the wedding! So sorry for all your going through! Maybe the headache is from the blood loss and when your supply is back up it will go away? You'll continue to be in our thoughts and prayers!

Andy and Michele said...

Wow, my miscarriage was nothing like that. How horrible. I'm so sorry, but wow, it's amazing that it didn't happen during all the wedding stuff or on the plane. God really is aware.

Emily said...

Honestly girl - I can't believe you did a wedding shoot under these circumstances! It was crazy brave of you, and I'm so glad the timing was right. We're thinking of you and praying for you. <3