Sunday, March 7, 2010
weening
I need help. I still nurse Hayden. He's going to be 18 months on the 20th and I'm beyond ready to move on. We want to get pregnant soon but I don't want to try to ween while pregnant. He doesn't eat well at all and when he doesn't feel good won't eat anything, nor take a sippy. So I nurse him so he won't starve. Also at night I nurse him back to sleep because I'm just so tired that I don't want to deal with it and that is a fast way to get him back to sleep. I'm scared that I'll have like a whole week of no sleep if I stop nursing him back to sleep. I nurse him to sleep for nap time and bed time and I don't really have a routine. Maybe that's the problem. I just don't even know where to begin. He's hard to say no to and when he's just that cranky and nothing with comfort him then I just nurse him. I just bought a book called the no cry sleep solution or something... it's coming in the mail and hopefully that'll help a lot on his sleep situation. But I will take any help I can get. I know its going to be hard for a while I guess I just have to do it.
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7 comments:
I have used that book with all three of my kids, but more so with Briggs and it's made a huge difference. I think the easiest way to ween him would be to first stop nursing him to sleep (easier said than done, but that book will help). If he knows how to go to sleep on his own he'll be able to get himself back to sleep on his own when he wakes up. It'll take some time, it's not a quick fix, but it'll be worth it. Than weening him won't be such a big ordeal. Also, try being creative with the foods that you give him. Babies don't get sick of the same thing, so if you find something he likes, stick with it. Hope that helps, feel free to call me anytime!
Oh Stephanie! Your a champ. A lot more patient than me. I quit nursing Cole at 4 months because of medication I'm on (whole other story). He has been sleeping through the nights also but only because one day I said, I can't wake up anymore, time to let hiim cry himself to sleep. So I laid him down and said good night and checked on him every 10 or 15 minutes until he fell asleep but never pick up Hayden while he cries or you'll just prolong the process. I did the same thing at nap time. When he wakes up during the night I check on him to make sure he didn't poop, without picking him up, and make him cry again. Cole hasn't woke up during the night ever since and sleeps about 8 to 10 hours. Its beautiful. They think they're hungry in the middle of the night but they're not. Little liars! Oh and as far as stop nursing...it hurts. You get totally engorged but Paul will love it. Just cut your feedings in half for a two days then after that cut that in half and so on. If he won't take a bottle or eat anything else, don't nurse at all and eventually he'll get hungry enough that he will just have to eat something. Trust me on all of this. You'll do great. Sometimes you just have to quit breast feeding cold turkey, painful for you but he might take a bottle better.
don't be a baby. let him sleep in my room. I'll let him cry until he goes back to sleep.
My best advice would be to make up your mind to really do it, ween him completely and DON'T give in other wise you'll start all over again. He WILL be mad at you but once he sees your not going to budge then most likely he will get over it in a couple weeks and he won't even care about your boob after at least that is how it was with my kids, they were one though, he will probably have a harder time forgetting about it. But TRUST me if you stick to it you will be so much happier and will get your sleepless nights over a lot sooner! :)
Oh gag. It begins! I have heard from multiple sources {including my doctor} that if they won't eat, don't worry about it. They can go a few days without eating too much, and eventually he'll figure out where the goods are now. If you keep giving in to his crying, he'll keep crying. Does he have any kind of security toy or blanket? If not, maybe now is a good time to introduce one. Does he understand "broken"? Try telling him that your boobs are broken {hey it's worth a shot!!}. I know it's overwhelming to start something like this, but you just have to do it. You can't wait until Monday or next week or whenever. To start a routine, make yourself a chart, and put stickers on it when you follow it. I know it sounds totally cheesy, but it's something that you can work at and earn together. Then, after a week go get ice cream if you get X-many stickers. Next time make it 10 days or 2 weeks and slowly spread out the rewards for following your routine chart. If you mess up for a few days, just get back on it and don't worry. A child on a routine is SO much better behaved and can adapt to new situations easier. They say that in parenting it takes about 3 days to break an old habit and create a new one, but then it takes 21 days of doing it for it to become routine. I know this is a lot of crap to soak it and try {you don't have to publish this comment}, but definately make a plan, and BE CONSISTENT! No matter how long it takes, how many repititions you have to do, just stick with it and call me if you need a sanity break. :O) Just remember that he WILL wean and this WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. You're right, you may go a week with no sleep but isn't a week worth it?
So, I just thought I'd see what everyone else said, and even though I already left a way long post, I just wanted to say it's not a quick fix. Letting him just cry it out and quiting cold turkey is only going to make it a horrible experience for everyone. It can be a happy thing. Make little goals and work on them. Take away one feeding at a time. Try to make meal times a game. And start taking him off the nipple before he's completely asleep and just lay him down and pat his back. He'll scream and cry probably the first ten times, but just nurse him again to settle him down and do it again. Eventually he will be so tired he'll give in if you don't give in first. Then the next time will only take 6 times of trying and it will continue to get better. Believe, that's what we did with Briggs and he does wonderful at night now. Hang in there! You're awesome!
I haven't read that book but I used the baby whisperer to get Ayden on a schedule and to sleep through the night! It is the best book! 2 nights after reading the book Ayden slept 8 hours and did from then on. HOWEVER, Ayden was 3 month's old when I did this so I have no idea how different it is for an older child. Pretty much the gist of it was a schedule, which I still follow a schedule now. It really helps to know what they are wanting and just makes our life run smoother.
As for waking up in the night one of the things she say's in the book is that babies aren't hungry in the night (they get more than enough food during the day). We can wake up several times through the night but we don't even know it because we are trained to fall right back to sleep. Babies need to be trained too, so when they wake up and can't go back to sleep they want comfort and that's why they try to eat. Because the sucking for them is comforting, not actually eating. So she say's to NOT feed them but either sooth them back to sleep with a pacifier or rock them back to sleep. It may take a few nights and it may take a while to get them back to sleep but it will become less and less every night. With Ayden it only took 1 night of doing but he screamed for 45 minutes that night, so it was hard. You just got suck it up and do it, and trust me it will be worth it!
Sorry it's so long and I hope something I said will help!
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